Attack of the Flannel-Hating Killer Robot
by Xander
Summary: G.I.R has finally gone insane. And flannel is what sets him off on his killer rampage. Or wait...I don't think G.I.R was ever sane, so nevermind. Co-Written by Miss Egypt
1. The Beginning...

Standard Disclaimer: We don't own IZ, or Satellite by Bosco, or anything else we may name in this fic.   
  
Untitled Zim Fic (as of now) By Miss Egypt (the Demented Writer) and Xander (the Fairly Sane, yet Dashingly Handsome Writer)   
  
  
Zim was just about to conclude an experiment on clown lungs (yes, clown lungs) when he suddenly heard a loud burst of music issue from the floor above. He left his labs momentarily to check it out, and found GIR doing a freakish dance to "Satellite" by Bosco. "Satellite...satellite...radio, video, satellite..." GIR wasn't even aware that Zim was watching him. Zim was just about to return to his clown lungs experiment when the left speaker on the sound system exploded.   
  
"GIR!! SHUT IT OFF!!!" GIR did so, and then looked up at Zim who had a very discontent look on his face.   
  
"I'm gonna go on a rampage now, 'kay?" said GIR, turning for the door.  
  
"No GIR! That is not okay! I need you to help me fix the Voot Cruiser, especially after you filled it with clown lungs!" exclaimed Zim.  
  
"Okay," replied Gir. "I'll make cupcakes!"  
  
Zim blinked in surprise and went back to fix the Voot Cruiser. "Gir, later I want to run some tests on you artificial intelligence chip. It seems to be...bad."  
  
Gir went into the kitchen to make cupcakes while Zim went down to the labs to work on the Voot Cruiser. Zim climbed into the toilet and pulled the flush handle.  
  
GIR started mixing the cupcake batter using his favorite ingredients: grapefruit juice, ketchup, milk, raisins, cheese, and black olives. "I loooove this stuff," said GIR as unwrapped and dumped in bubble gum and chocolate bars.  
  
"The clown lungs appear to be fatal to the fuel tanks," said Zim thoughtfully, underground in his labs. "I must devise something to counteract this.....if it weren't for GIR's....psychological problems..."  
  
Having finished mixing the cupcakes, GIR decided to start his  
rampage.  
  
He zipped up his lime green and black dog disguise, and opened the  
door to go outside and traumatize a few innocent passers-by, but was  
mildly surprised to see the ground littered with dead lumberjacks.  
  
GIR walked past the dead lumberjacks, figuring Zim was going to do something with them, and went about to find some tacos.   
  
Zim continued to work on the Voot Cruiser. It suddenly occurred to him to check on GIR.   
  
"Computer! Take me to the House floor!" commanded GIR. Gir was hoisted up to the ground floor. "Gir? GIR?!!!" Zim looked around the house, his panic growing... He ran outside, and screamed at the sight of the dead lumberjacks and ran back inside.   
  
He leaned on the back of the door panting, scared and yet curious as to why dead lumberjacks were scattered on his lawn and the surrounding sidewalk. The only conclusion that Zim came up with was that Gir had begun his rampage and had, well, attacked and ended the legacies of about 24 lumberjacks.   
  
Meanwhile, Dib was walking along that same sidewalk (he was on his way to a sci-fi convention) and stopped dead in his tracks. There appeared to have been a massacre in front of Zim's house. "FOR THE LOVE OF MORBID CATERPILLARS!" he shouted for the sake of saying something. Zim, inside the door, heard the familiar voice and unwittingly opened the door.   
  
"Dib! I didn't know we had lumberjacks in this town --- It wasn't me! It was Gir!"   
  
"And you want me to believe you?" said Dib, looking up at Zim with a raised eyebrow.   
  
"If I told you a herd of carnivorous dandelions came floating through, then you'd believe me?" Zim replied the volume of his voice escalating with each syllable.   
  
Dib stopped to consider this. "A herd of carnivorous dandelions...it all makes perfect sense..."   
  
"DIB! I was joking! I've got a schizophrenic robot rampaging who gets set off by the sight of Flannel!!!" exclaimed Zim.   
  
"This isn't a time for jokes, Zim. But a schizo robot that's set off by flannel. It all makes sense...   
  
Gir walked into the taco place, dressed in his green dog disguise. He got into line, humming the doom song. The customer in front of GIR moved, revealing the person at the counter was wearing a flannel shirt. GIR's eyes turned red, and he went into frenzy.   
  
Dib and Zim ran into the taco shop. They were about ten minutes too late. Everyone in the place was dead and GIR was sitting at one of the tables, eating from a tray full of tacos. 


	2. Convention going Nerds...

"I knew it!!!" Zim shouted upon entering.   
  
"GIR, what have you done to these humans, pathetic stinkbeasts as they are?"   
  
"I slapped them repeatedly with rubber pigeons," said GIR happily, gorging himself on taquitos.   
  
Dib thought for a minute. He didn't really know whether to continue on his way to the sci-fi convention, or stay and watch the events unfold. Finally, seven of his brain cells exploded, and he exclaimed, "I'm gonna go get me some walrus candy!" With that, he turned around and ran out the door.  
  
Zim chose to ignore this. "GIR, were you also responsible for the demise of 24 lumberjacks?"   
  
"Yes! Wait a minute.....no." Inside GIR's mind, (if you can call random pieces of garbage a mind) something snapped. Zim's disguise-wig-thingy had apparently fallen off when he had run to the taco place. Those Irken antennae began to look strangely like long, tantalizing licorice whips. GIR fell into a hypnotic state. "Ooh....pretty licorice whips attached to Master's head..."   
  
"No Gir! No! NOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed Zim. Dib heard Zim's screams down the street from the taco place. Dib shrugged his shoulders and continued on his way to the Sci-fi convention, although his brain cried out for Walrus candy.   
  
Zim threw Gir off of him and got to his feet. His Irken antenna's were thankfully still attached to his oversized green head. GIR saw a plaid coat laying on the floor. His homicidal personality was one again set off. GIR ran from the taco shop and towards a hardware store. Zim, as usual was too late. When he finally got to the hardware store, all the customers and employees had been horribly murdered with various tools. Zim found Gir in front of a staticy television. "I love this show," he happily announced.   
  
"GIR! I can't let you do this! I'm going to drag you back to the base, now, and do something about your A.I. chip and fix your thing for plaid and flannel!" Zim said, hauling GIR out of the store by leash. As they walked outside, they were near enough to the sci-fi convention, and GIR lost it, though in his regular personality.   
  
"CONVENTION!!!!" squealed GIR overexcitedly.   
  
"No, GIR," said Zim, pulling in the other direction. Meanwhile, Ms. Bitters was on a sugar high, and came slithering down the street toward Zim, Gir, and Dib, who was in line in front of the convention's entrance doors.   
  
"NONSENSICAL POPCORN JUICE!" she screamed hoarsely. "HAVE YOU THE POISONOUS DOLPHINS?? LET US DISMANTLE MY EYES!" "I'm thinking we should run," said Zim, turning and running with GIR toward the convention.   
  
Zim and Gir ran into the convention, where horror immediately swept over him. They were surrounded by hopeless, snotty-nosed, stuttering nerds!   
  
"Hey...He's...he-he-he's green!" exclaimed on of the nerds, referring to Zim.   
  
"Gir, slowly back away..." instructed Zim. "Gir..." Zim looked around. "Gir..." Zim looked around in a panic.   
  
He found Gir in front of the T.V, watching an post-apocolyptic soap opera from New Zealand otherwise known as "The Tribe."   
  
"I love this show," said Gir.   
  
"Gir! We have to go now! Before we end up on a live version of Alien Autopsy Dismemberment 2000!" exclaimed Zim. 


	3. When in doubt...PIGGIES!!!!

Ms. Bitters burst into the convention room, blocking Zim's way out. "Spandex is pouring out of thine nostrils like other-worldly banana peels!" she announced.   
  
Zim was panicking. He had no way out and was trapped in a sci-fi convention with nerdy psychos, all of whom believed in aliens, Gir might go homicidal again, and Ms. Bitters was on a sugar high. Dib was in line, staring in at Zim, grinning. Zim grabbed Gir by the leash and hurtled himself out of the convention area past Ms. Bitters, who didn't even seem to notice his presence. Spontaneously, twelve more of Dib's neurons exploded, and he screamed, "WALRUS CANDY! Must...get...walrus.... candy..."   
  
Dib suddenly got hold of his brain again. He got up, dusted himself off and looked at Zim. "Oh yeah, and Zim, my vengeance is now complete."   
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" screamed Zim as he charged Miss Bitters, and slid under her outstretched legs. He was horrified to find that she wasn't wearing any underwear, a revelation that sent Zim into uncontrollable spasms. Gir ran after Zim, singing "The Dream must Stay Alive" from the show The Tribe.   
  
Zim and Gir ran out into the street. They suddenly had an urge to sing and dance. Zim and Gir began to sing "It's Raining Men" by the Pointer Sisters as the danced down the street.   
  
Meanwhile, 47 brain cells in Dib's large head burst into flame. "AAARRGGHHH! The flames, the flames within my mind!" Dib shrieked, falling to his knees and having convulsions on the sidewalk.   
  
"Awwww..." said Gir, bounding over to Dib, who was losing it entirely, "I know what'll make you feel better!" GIR proceeded to start doing some sick disco dance of sorts, to the opening bars of music from "Get Down With Me" by the Spice Girls. However, he sang, "Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doomy-doom-doom-doom..."   
  
This had a very sad effect on Dib. "NOOOOO!!! Not the dreaded Spice Girls! No!! Make it stop!!!! I think....I might be dying...." 52 neurons erupted like firecrackers within Dib's mind. "AAAACK!"   
  
Zim was at a loss of what to do; perhaps somehow he could stop this insane nightmare by getting GIR under his control. (As though that would ever happen.) So, Zim did the first thing that came to his mind. "GIR, I have licorice whips on my head...."   
  
"Licorice whips?!" exclaimed Gir, running over to Zim. Gir leaped on top of Zim's head, sending them both crashing to the ground. Gir ripped the antenna off of Zim's head, causing Zim's plan to horribly backfire. Gir quickly ate the antennae.   
  
Dib walked up. "I was wrong before. Now my vengeance is complete." Zim rolled around on the ground in pain.  
  
"My beautiful antennae!!! I cannot function! The pain, the misery!!!!"   
  
"That didn't taste too much like licorice," said Gir. "BUT I LIKE IT!!!"   
  
700 of Dib's brain cells flew out of his nostrils for no apparent reason. This sent him shouting things at random ("Glorious, the day I found my eye sockets, what if moths had tusks? I CAN'T GO ON, CAPTAIN SQUEEGEE!!!!") and his left eye began twitching.   
  
"What kind of sickly condition causes the evacuation of brain cells?" Zim pondered thoughtfully, rubbing the sores where his antennae used to be, while Dib continued his ranting.   
  
"PIGGIES!" exclaimed Gir as he ran across the street and into the toy store. He leaped into a bin of pink rubber piggies.   
  
Zim continued to ponder Dib's mental problems. "Brain Fungus! Irken Brain Fungus! I must be a carrier! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Or maybe it's just a tumor."   
  
Gir walked back across the street, playing with one of the little rubber piggies.   
  
"Gir! We have to get back to the house! Quickly!" exclaimed Zim. Gir fired up his rocket blasters and they jetted back to the house.  
  
Dib looked around. "Lemme guess, no one saw that."   
  
Suddenly, the jets turned off. Gir and Zim plummeted to the ground. They crashed into a Dumpster.   
  
"Gir! Why did we crash?" exclaimed Zim.   
  
"Because I ran out of fuel," replied Gir.   
  
"Why did you run out of fuel?"   
  
"I emptied it to make room for the cookie dough!" said Gir, who promptly began to suck the cookie dough out of his foot. 


	4. Gubernatorial Fajitas and the King of Fl...

"Okay...." said Zim. He walked past Gir, down the street, and into the home base (which they thankfully landed quite near). Gir, who was humming the Doom Song, skipped along behind Zim and followed him inside.   
  
"I must test myself to discover if I am a carrier of Irken Brain Fungus.... But how could Dib get it? And why aren't my brain cells exploding, evacuating, catching flame and whatnot? COMPUTER! Take me to the labs!" The slab of floor underneath Zim formed a circular platform and descended to one of Zim's labs.   
  
Meanwhile, back in front of the convention area, nightfall had set in, and Dib had somewhat regained control of his spasms. Ms. Bitters was slapping herself with slices of clown kidneys across the street. She didn't seem to notice that Dib was still there. (All the freakish, snobby nerds had left long ago.)   
  
Then, the brain malfunction set in again without warning. Dib doubled over, shouting, "I have peppermint flavored blood, and I have the power to speak to snails!!"   
  
Back in the lab, Zim was pressing various buttons to test some of his cells (and perhaps give himself a new set of antennae), when all of a sudden, his right eye imploded upon itself.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!" exclaimed Zim as he covered his eye with both of his hands. He quickly re-gained his composure and decided to wait until a new one grew back.   
  
*Six Weeks Later*   
  
Zim opened his eyelid and a new eye had grown where the other had imploded. He resumed the scan for the Irken Brain fungus, and was relieved to know that he was only a carrier and not infected. "But how did Dib get it..?" wondered Zim.   
  
"Maybe it was when he was snooping around the house two nights ago?" asked Gir.   
  
"You knew this and you didn't tell me?" replied Zim.   
  
"I must've forgotten. The scary monkey show was on," replied Gir.   
  
"What happened?" demanded Zim, looming over GIR and looking very cross.   
  
"Well, I went down to the store to get a Brainfreezy when I decided that I was going use a pair of tweezers on the guy at the taco place and maybe giraffes would be good to lick, I'm not sure, what do nose hairs taste like?"   
  
"Excuse me?" said Zim, squinting his newly regrown eye and looking a bit worried.   
  
"One time, a bunch of homicidal mimes attacked this guy, and they ate his eyelids 'cause they were cannabalistic, and that's how Einstein's theory of relativity came about."   
  
"But that's nonsensical!"   
  
"And so is my popcorn juice," replied Gir.   
  
"GIR! Explain yourself!!" shrieked Zim impatiently.   
  
"I have ammunition and various types of weaponry in my pants!"   
  
"Gir, you aren't wearing any pants!"   
  
"I know, Master, but they're there! I can sense them with my ability to see through skin!" Gir said in a freakishly excited way.   
  
Zim gave up. He then recalled that Ms. Bitters was saying strange, pointless things at the convention, and Dib, obviously was freaking out too. And now GIR, who, after his murderous spasms, was saying even more nonsensical things than usual. Perhaps they all had become infected with Irken Brain Fungus...but GIR didn't have a brain.....it was all so....wrong....   
  
GIR walked down the street and spotted George Lucas walking down the very same street. George's trademark flannel shirt set off Gir's murderous rage once again and pounced on George Lucas. Gaz was walking by as well, and quickly ran over and pulled Gir off George Lucas. "That's one messed up droid!" exclaimed George Lucas. He then ran screaming.   
  
Gaz and Gir didn't notice Jhonen Vasquez crossing the street, trying to negotiate the rights to Noodle Man with Johnny, The Homicidal Maniac.   
  
"Freak," muttered Gaz, looking down at GIR with an evil eye. GIR looked up and began drooling as he saw Jhonen come walking toward them. Zim, who was worried that GIR was going to kill someone else, came running out of the home base door and looked wildly around. He saw a tall, thin guy wearing glasses, and a trench coat; and then there was GIR, who was having another spasm (non-homicidal, there wasn't any flannel in sight anymore) and was again saying nonsensical things.   
  
Zim's mind may as well have burst into pieces, as he looked on, unsure of what to do, if he could do anything. "Gubernatorial fajitas! NO!!! I TOLD YOU NOT TO PULL THE TRIGGER!!! Beware, for the horsefly will command you!!"   
  
GIR was foaming at the mouth (if it's possible for a robot to do). "I must go lick some hubcaps in motion now!"   
  
Zim grabbed Gir and ran back into the house, where he hooked Gir up to the computer, in hopes of finding out when, how, and why Dib broke into Zim's lair. He sorted through Gir's files, which contained just three items: Pink rubber piggies, a nachos recipe, and 101 ways to eat a taco. (The last one was a work in progress.) Zim almost gave up hope when he noticed another file marked "Dib." Zim clicked on the file, and was treated to footage of Dib walking around the lair.   
  
"Is my security that bad?" wondered Zim to himself, again thoughtfully rubbing a sore where his right antennae had once been.   
  
GIR seemed not to notice that he had been hooked up to a computer, and began to hum "Around the World" by ATC. Zim's attention remained on the monitor, which showed Dib carefully creeping around corners into the kitchen, where he ate a cupcake from an earlier batch of GIR's! Zim decided that whatever had infected him was in the cupcakes.   
  
"GIR!"   
  
"Yes, Master?"   
  
"What do you put in your cupcakes?"   
  
"Oh....lotsa stuff. Grapefruit juice, ketchup, milk..."   
  
"Maybe that's where it comes from, it's not Irken Brain Fungus at all...but how did Ms. Bitters begin raving nonsensical thingies?"   
  
Suddenly, the video feed got really staticy, then the video returned. Instead of Dib, it was Miss Bitters stealing a cupcake.   
  
"My security is that BAD!!!" exclaimed Zim.   
  
"AHHHHHHHHH!!!!" screamed Gir, who promptly got up and went to go watch the Scary Monkey show.   
  
"The cupcakes are it! They are the source of the mysterious brain rot!" exclaimed Zim.   
  
And then from GIR in the other room --- "WAHOOO! Brainfreezy! LICK ME, JOHNNY!!!"   
  
Zim didn't want to know. He really didn't. He pressed a button on his computer panel and his antennae sores began to glow lime green. Suddenly, a pair of new antennae shot out of his head and replaced the old ones. He ignored this. He was more worried by GIR's last comments. Zim shut his eyes and took a lift to ground level to check on GIR.   
  
[Less Demented, yet Handsomely dashing Author's Note: I should point out at this incredibly odd point that we are not saying Dib is a nerd, but instead is going to a convention frequented by scary nerds. That is all. We will now return to your regularly scheduled story, already in progress...]   
  
Zim found, much to his surprise, Gir sitting on the sofa, with a Brainfreezy (Chocolate Mint, of course.) and reading the latest Johnny, the Homicidal Maniac book. Zim breathed a huge sigh of relief until Jhonen Vasquez walked out of the bathroom wearing nothing but a frilly pink bathrobe. He went into convulsions and passed out. 


	5. Cupcakes, Fun Dip, & G.I.R's Groove

When Zim opened his eyes, the image of Jhonen was gone. GIR was still there, reading the same page of the same comic, so Zim knew he couldn't have been out long. He wondered if he had begun to hallucinate. He confirmed his suspicions when he looked out the window of his base and saw Jhonen walking along the sidewalk outside across the street. In his regular clothing.   
  
"Oh....." said GIR suddenly, realizing something. "My cupcakes are done!" (They had been for quite some time now.)   
  
"GIR! Those are dementia-inflicting cupcakes!" said Zim. "You'll only get worse if you eat them..."   
  
GIR, as usual, didn't care, and promptly began eating four of them at once, washing them down with some of his Brainfreezy.   
  
Gir walked back to the sofa and sat down. He began to watch the Scary Monkey show. Zim went and sat next to him. Gir pulled out a pack of Fun Dip, and offered Zim a stick. Zim took the Cherry side and Gir took the grape side. They sat there and ate the Fun Dip, watching the Scary Monkey show.   
  
Now, the combination of sickly cupcakes, fun dip, and a Brainfreezy was bound to cause GIR more psychological problems than Zim was willing to put up with. About three minutes into the Scary Monkey Show, GIR turned and grabbed Zim's face and shook his head. "Which frog gets the best mileage?" he demanded happily. Zim pulled away from GIR's grip.   
  
"I'm not sure," he replied. He looked out the window, and was somewhat surprised to see Dib come screaming down the sidewalk, his neurons erupting like crazy.   
  
Dib walked up the sidewalk, past the lawn gnomes and up to the door. He pressed the doorbell.   
  
"Leprechauns!" exclaimed Gir, who ran to the door and threw it open. "Aww...it's only Dib."   
  
Dib pushed Gir out of the way and charged towards Zim. "I know you're responsible for this Zim!" exclaimed Dib.   
  
"Care to share a Fun Dip?" asked Zim.   
  
"Yeah, okay," replied Dib. Dib jumped up on the couch, taking Gir's spot, and ate from the grape side of the Fun Dip.   
  
Gir got dressed in his green-dog disguise and went down to the local disco (as seen in The Attack of the Saucer Morons.).   
  
"Wait a minute....I smell cupcakes..." said Dib, having remembered where he was.   
  
"They're the cause of brain rot," said Zim carelessly, eating more of the cherry Fun Dip. Suddenly, something in his brain snapped. "Get out of my base!!!" he shrieked at Dib, who had already begun to move to the door.   
  
"I just want my neurons to stop exploding, that's all!" said Dib.   
  
"You lie! YOU LIE!!!!"   
  
"Well....and I want to be recognized as the one who captured an alien, so I'll be famous and people will believe me and maybe I'll get my own episode of Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery..."   
  
"COMPUTER!! Rid me of this human filth!!!" Zim didn't have to worry much about Dib running away, as Dib was again undergoing brain cell spasms.   
  
"Have you not noticed the mangos?!" he yelled, trying to get a grip on his brain.   
  
Suddenly, a square of floor shot up and catapulted Dib out the open front door and across town. Dib screamed the whole way. Zim shuffled his hands in satisfaction as he slammed the door shut.   
  
Meanwhile, at the local disco, Gir got his groove down in a major way.   
  
Zim hadn't noticed GIR's departure. He went into the kitchen and examined the cupcakes, and decided that furthur testing needed to be done on them. Before he was going to flush himself down the toilet to his labs to test them, Zim remembered that he hadn't finished his cherry side of the fun dip packet. He went into the living room thingy to get it, and looked out the window. He saw Jhonen sword-fighting Professor Membrane outside. Zim ignored this, retrieved the fun dip, and went down to the labs to run extended examinations on the cupcakes.   
  
Zim was horrified at the contents of the cupcakes. He went down the computers list of ingredients.   
  
They were:   
  
Ketchup   
Strawberry Syrup   
Grey Poupon Mustard   
Mountain Dew   
Bacon   
Pepper Corns   
Candle Wax   
Ben Affleck   
Candy Orange Peel   
White Fudge   
Pepsi   
Chocolate Milk   
Baloney   
Anchovies   
  
It suddenly all made sense to Zim. When you combined these ingredients, you made a cupcake that had the same effect as fifty years of television. It rotted your brain, and left you a drooling idiot. They had to be destroyed!   
  
Zim thoughtfully went over the list of ingredients again. Exactly how GIR managed to obtain Ben Affleck was beyond him. He went for more of the fun dip, realized he had eaten it all already, cursed, and threw the empty wrapper thingy away.   
  
"GIR!" he shouted. "GIR?" It was then Zim realized that GIR had left the base. Zim became frantic and ascended to house level. Upon arriving on the main floor, he heard maniacal laughter from outside. Jhonen was winning the sword fight.   
  
Zim ran outside. "Gir! Gir, where are you?!"   
  
Zim walked past Jhonen and Professor Membrane. Professor Membrane was cowering in extreme pain, holding his sword over his head. But, suddenly, in one swift move, Professor Membrane decapitated Jhonen. Zim witnessed this horror, screamed and ran back into the house.   
  
Meanwhile, Gir was still getting his groove down at the local disco. 


	6. Flannel Catsuits and Barbecuing Internal...

Zim knew that without Jhonen, his own bizarre legacy would come to an end. He turned to look out the window, afraid of what he'd see. He tried to get a clear image of what was going on, but this time his left eye imploded upon itself. He screamed and freaked out, then screamed some more. He covered his left eye with both hands and looked out at what was happening with his right eye. Professor Membrane had actually decapitated a life-size cardboard cut-out of Jhonen Vasquez. The actual Jhonen was at the end of the street, waving his sword triumphantly overhead, laughing wickedly, shouting, "You'll never get me, you oddity of pimento doom!!! Vengeance will be MINE!!!"   
  
Zim breathed a sigh of relief, and ran outside. He had a good idea that GIR was hitting the club again, so he began walking in that general direction.   
  
Meanwhile, at that nightclub, GIR saw Ms. Bitters there for no apparent reason. It seemed as though she went straight from the convention over to this nightclub. And, unfortunately for her and pretty much everyone else in the club, she was wearing a flannel catsuit. GIR stopped dancing, and his eyes glowed red....   
  
Zim was, as usual, too late. All of the Discoing hipsters had been slaughtered. (Slightly less demented, yet Handsomely Dashing Author's note: This is in no way a representation of my feelings towards disco music.)   
  
Zim walked over to the remains, and I stress remains, of Miss Bitters. He fell to his knees and cried out, "WHY ME?!!!!" Zim's eyes welled up with tears. He had grown an affection for Miss Bitters, especially her love of the word "doom," a word he had also had an affection for. After a few seconds, Zim regained his composure and kicked her remains out of the way as he and GIR went to leave.   
  
Suddenly he realized something....both of his eyes had welled up with tears! His left eye had regrown quite quickly. He and GIR left the nightclub, which, without the music and partying people, looked a bit grave. As they approached the street on which their home base was located.   
  
Dib came running toward them, trench coat flying out behind him. "ZIM! You'll never get away with ---" Dib broke off, as seventeen more brain cells burst into flame. "CHUNKS OF SYRUPY GOLDFISH POWDER!!!" He shook his head as though to clear his mind. "I need one of those cupcakes so that I can develop an antidote or something! Before all of my neurons disintegrate!!"   
  
"I'm sorry Dib, but the thought of you becoming a drooling moron is far to tasty of a possibility to me to allow you the opportunity to develop an antidote," replied Zim.   
  
Gir opened the top of his head and a cupcake flew out. It landed in Dib's hand. "There you go! Enjoy!"   
  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I will triumph once again Zim! Mwahahahahah!" exclaimed Dib. Dib ran off, with the cupcake, into the night.   
  
"GIR!! Exactly why did you do that?" Zim asked.   
  
This was a mistake, as it set GIR on another psychotic rant. "I have gills! FEAR THE GILLS! Behold, the power of Ramen Noodles!!! Yes, it is I, the renowned blood-sucking giant spider!!!"   
  
"GIR, what is wrong with you?" sighed Zim, more to himself, because pretty much everything is wrong with GIR all the time.   
  
"Everything! Come! Let us eat some postal worker a la mode!" Zim ignored GIR. Suddenly, not more than about seven houses away from Zim's own home base, they saw Professor Membrane duct-taped to a streetlight pole.   
  
"On any other day, that might seem strange," muttered Dib, referring to his father, taped to the light pole. Dib continued to walk by. He had to find a cure for the mind numbing cupcake. Dib broke out into a run.   
  
Zim ignored this, and walked past Membrane into the house. He threw GIR inside, who seemed otherwise unwilling to enter.   
  
"I have a mime's eyes!" GIR announced, holding up a plastic bag, which contained a pair of eyes that had evidently been removed from a mime. Zim didn't allow himself much time to think about this.   
  
He went into the kitchen, grabbed the remaining cupcakes, and flushed himself down into the labs. "Computer, find an antidote thingy that will counteract the effects of these horrific excuses for cupcakes," said Zim, thrusting one of the cupcakes into a tube which shot the cupcake into the computer for analyzing again. After a minute, red letters began to flash on the screen: CUPCAKE INSANITY UNABLE TO CURE.   
  
Dib however, was busy in Professor Membrane's lab, mixing various mixtures. He was determined to find a cure to his dwindling sanity. He mixed various formulas until he came up with one of a lime green color. He downed the mixture, hoping it was the correct one. Dib could feel his Neurons returning. He was regaining his sanity. "This is like therapy in a bottle!" proclaimed Dib.   
  
Therapy, yes; healthy, no.   
  
Instantly, Dib felt a burning sensation. It was a few moments before he realized that his innards had begun to smolder. His organs were on fire....   
  
Meanwhile, Zim was staring blankly at his computer, at a loss of what to do. He decided that he had better not keep repeating the same mistake of not checking to see that GIR was inside the base and not rampaging. He took a lift to the ground floor. He heard screams of someone running down the street. Zim instantly went to the window only to find Dib rushing at the door, flinging it open with tremendous force.   
  
"Zim! I must see your labs! I can't believe I'm asking for your help, but --- AAAARRRGGHHH!!! The flames aren't within my brain anymore, I found a cure for that, but as a side effect, my organs are flaming!"   
  
Zim noticed the smoke issuing from Dib's mouth as he spoke. "And.....you expect me to help by...."   
  
"By letting me use your labs already! I don't have the necessary chemicals to treat this! You know, you could benefit, too. That rampaging robot-dog-thingy of yours could be restored to his....regular level of wrongness! Just think, you could stop that flannel hatred of his!"   
  
"Lick me, Johnny!" GIR said happily from the corner of the room.   
  
"Okay, you can come in," replied Zim. "Computer! Take me and this evil taco human to the labs!" A part of the floor opened up and they descended into Zim's labs.   
  
"I think....I might die...." said Dib as they approached the labs, referring to his flaming organs. Zim didn't appear to care too much. That is, until both of his eyes imploded, and he was sent into a reeling shock that he was momentarily blind.   
  
"I CAN'T SEE!!!!" he shrieked hysterically.  
  
"Now that's about the grossest thing I've ever seen. This is way beyond both the molting and Pustulio." replied Dib, who went into the labs to begin mixing the cure, otherwise known as Ultra Pepto Bismol. Zim, meanwhile, staggered around blind!   
  
Dib concocted it as fast as he could, and drank a small vial full. The smoke quit coming from his mouth; his organs were no longer aflame. His neurons appeared to be in their regular condition. Zim was running around hopelessly, reaching for anything that might help him. He grabbed some of Dib's leftover mixture, and threw it down his eye sockets. His eyes grew back instantly, and he sighed contentedly. Meanwhile, Professor Membrane was still duct-taped to the streetlight pole.   
  
Dib walked out of Zim's house, and began to undo his father's duct-tape bindings. Zim gave some of the concoction to Gir, who immediately began to run around the house like he was on speed. In other words, he was acting completely normal.   
  
Dib and Professor Membrane walked off into the sunset, content in the knowledge that this insane story was coming to a close.   
  
THE END...for now.   
  
"Stop sniveling little worm monkey. Ultra Peepi will live on...out there...in the stars."   
*Ultra-Peepi flies across the horizon and crashes in the distance. A large explosion follows.* 


End file.
